Funny Quotes

"I am nothing... Nothing is perfect... Therefore, I am perfect." - Desktop Art in Gilman Hall (ISU)

Endian Little Hate Programmers

Elektriciteit is niet uitgevonden door verbetering van de kaars. Het internet is niet ontstaan uit innovatie van de postdiensten. -- Jacob van Kokswijk in Netkwesties #148

A: Because it messes up the order in which people normally read text. Q: Why is top-quoting such a bad thing?

Cellular communication is not the lingo of a rainbow nation -- from a song by Mango Groove, 1995

Enthusiasm is contagious. You could start an epidemic! -- unknown

Too many errors on one line (make fewer). -- Error message from an old MPW C compiler by Apple Computer.

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exist elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us. -- Calvin & Hobbes, Weirdos from an other planet (1990)

Een ieder heeft het recht zich vrijelijk te verplaatsen en te vertoeven binnen de grenzen van elke Staat. -- (art 13, lid 1, Universele Verklaring van de Rechten van de Mens)

Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me. I may not lead. Walk beside me and be my friend. -- A. Campus

Newspaper report: "The former chief financial officer considers himself to be a gamble addict. As soon as he starts trading stock, he doesn't know when to stop". Finally proof that stock market is just gambling -- De Volkskrant, 26 Feb 2007

Keeping medicines from the bloodstreams of the sick; food from the bellies of the hungry; books from the hands of the uneducated; technology from the underdeveloped; and putting advocates of freedom in prisons. Intellectual property is to the 21st century what the slave trade was to the 16th.

Disclaimer: This is an e-mail message. Use your own judgment about its value. If you do not have such common sense (e.g. you are a lawyer or other retard) or like to see crap like warranties, intended-audience or as-is statements, then the following applies: you do not understand the concept of satire and are not allowed to read this e-mail. -- Freek Dijkstra, disclaimer created after being annoyed for too long about stupid disclaimers popping up everywhere.

I really didn't foresee the Internet. But then, neither did the computer industry. Not that that tells us very much, of course - the computer industry didn't even foresee that the century was going to end. -- Douglas Adams

The best way to accelerate a PC is 9.8 m/s2

"De afdeling klacht en kwaliteit is gesloten na 12:00" -- Xs4all, nov 2007

"Recht is iets kroms dat verbogen is" -- Bul Super, een personage bedacht door Marten Toonder

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? -- Signature

If copyright infringement is theft, photographing someone is kidnapping? -- Cory Doctorow

A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it. -- Kay, in the movie Men in Black (1997)

Women. Can't live with them, can't successfully refute their hypotheses. -- Howard Wolowitz in the series Big Bang Theory

Support the trees. Use plastic bags.

it is root operator, not rude operator

If we didn't allow the stupid to run for office, we wouldn't have a representative democracy. -- Bryan, in a comment on Bruce Schneier's blog.

Mathematical proof that Christmas and Halloween are the same: 25 Dec = 31 Oct (= 19 Hex = 11001 Bin)

On mass surveillance by security agencies: "None of this has much ado with 'terrorism' -- even with 'security'. It's a bunch of bathroom-peekers and brief-sniffers with a budget." -- roadowl, on Bruce Scheier's blog.

IANAL (I am not a lawyer), but I watch actors play lawyers on high-def television.

The Oxford comma is important: Consider the sentence “We invited the strippers, Obama, and Putin.”. In that case, we have a great party with the worlds leading politicians. However, in the sentence “We invited the strippers, Obama and Putin.” then our party turns out quite a bit different.

Of course I've got lawyers. They are like nuclear weapons, I've got em 'cause everyone else has. But as soon as you use them they screw everything up. -- Quote in the movie Other People's Money