How to express yourself on the internet

This document gives a list of common-used 'smilies', as well as some commonly used abbreviations. Besides this usefull to know information the bottom part of the document is filled with hardly or never used smilies, which are just funny to read.

Please note: if you're really new to the internet, I suggest to also read some rules about Netiquette. The standard about Netiquette can be found at a document called RFC 1855. It is written by the standarization organisation: so it's not really juicy.

Smilies

Since there is no way to see the facial expressions of someone at the time he or she was writing an e-mail, or in a textual chat 'conversation', people started to use smilies in their text to express themselves. Smilies ar little faces, which you can see by turning your head 90 degrees counterclockwise.

Here are the basic ones. Taken from "The Unofficial Smilie Dictionary".
:-) Your basic smilie. This smilie is used to emphasize or inflect a joke, since this might not be clear from the context.
;-) Winky smilie. User just made a nudge or sarcastic remark. Kind of a "Don't hit me for what I just said" smilie.
:-( Unhappy (or "frowning") smilie. User is depressed or upset about something.
:-I Indifferent smilie. Better than a Unhappy smilie but not quite as good as a happy smilie. Kind of an "Oh..." smilie.
:-> Someone just made a really biting sarcastic remark. Worse than a :-).
>:-> User just made a really devilish remark.
>;-> Winky and devil combined. A very lewd remark was just made.

Most smilies can also be in small format:
:) Midget smilie
;) Midget wink smilie. An inside joke wa made.
:] Gleep... a friendly midget smilie who will gladly be your friend

Abbreviations

In both e-mail as well as in chat, some rather typical abbreviations are used.

The ones usually seen in e-mails:

FYI
For Your Info
IMO
In My Opinion
IMHO
In My Humble Opinion, polite form of IMO.
TIA
Thanks In Advannce, greeting for when a question was asked.
BTW
By The Way

The ones usually encountered while chatting:

AFK
Away From Keyboard. Usually appended to (nick)names in chat, to let others know that the person is not there for a short time. Common, even though it would be better to simply use the word "away".
BBL
Be Back Later. Greeting message in chat just before you disconnect to let other people know the user will be back soon at the same server or channel.
BRB
Be Right Back. Used in chat to let other people know the user is gone for the toilet or for the phone, or something like that. Common.
DND
Do Not Disturb. Usually appended to (nick)names in chat, to let others know that the person doesn't want to receive messages.
LOL
Laughing Out Loud. Some good joke was made. Common. Don't mix it with smilies. This is a real laugh, a smilie is indeed just a good smile.
LMAO
Laughing My Ass Off. The juicy version of LOL.
ROTFL
Rolling Over The Floor Laughing. Some REAL good joke was made.
TTYL
Talk To You Later. "See you Later".
TY
Thank You.
IRL
In Real Life. As opposed to talk to each other over a network, using software like IRC. Can sometimes have a slight cynical tone: computer (chat) shouldn't be your social life.

Uncommon smilies

The following smilies are not commonly used, but they are certainly funny. Taken from "The Unofficial Smilie Dictionary".
(-: User is left handed
%-) User has been staring at a green screen for 15 hours straight
:*) User is drunk
[:] User is a robot
8-) User is wearing sunglasses
B:-) Sunglasses on head
::-) User wears normal glasses
B-) User wears horn-rimmed glasses
8:-) User is a little girl
:-)-8 User is a BIG girl
:-{) User has a mustache
:-{} User wears lipstick
{:-) User wears a toupee
}:-( Toupee in an updraft
:-7 User just made a wry statement
:-[ User is a Vampire
:-E Bucktoothed vampire
:-F Bucktoothed vampire with one tooth missing
:-* User just ate something sour
:-)~ User drools
:-~) User has a cold
:'-( User is crying
:'-) User is so happy, (s)he is crying
:-@ User is screaming
:-# User wears braces
:^) User has a broken nose
:v) User has a broken nose, but it's the other way
:<) User is from an Ivy League School
:-& User is tongue tied.
=:-) User is a hosehead
- - -:-) User is a punk rocker
- - -:-( (real punk rockers don't smile)
:=) User has two noses
+-:-) User is the Pope or holds some other religious office
`:-) User shaved one of his eyebrows off this morning
,:-) Same thing...other side
|-I User is asleep
|-O User is yawning/snoring
:-Q User is a smoker
:-? User smokes a pipe
O-) Megaton Man On Patrol! (or else, user is a scuba diver)
O :-) User is an angel (at heart, at least)
:-P Nyahhhh!
:-S User just made an incoherent statement
:-D User is laughing (at you!)
:-X User's lips are sealed
:-C User is reaally bummed
<|-) User is Chinese
<|-( User is Chinese and doesn't like these kind of jokes
:-/ User is skeptical
C=:-) User is a chef
@= User is pro-nuclear war
:-o Uh oh!
(8-o It's Mr. Bill!
*:o) And Bozo the Clown!
3:] Pet smilie
3:[ Mean Pet smilie
E-:-) User is a Ham radio operator
:-9 User is licking his/her lips
%-6 User is braindead
[:-) User is wearing a walkman
(:I User is an egghead
<:-I User is a dunce
@:-) User is wearing a turban
:-0 No Yelling! (Quiet Lab)
:-: Mutant Smilie
|.-) User only has one eye
,-) Ditto...but he's winking
X-( User just died
8 :-) User is a wizard
C=}>;*{)) Mega-Smilie... A drunk, devilish chef with a toupee in an updraft, a mustache, and a double chin